Saturday XXV March, MMXVII
Stratford Town II - O Banbury United
Having hath beest bested by a lasteth gasp miss-struck crosseth on a dankish early-decemb'r aft'rnoon in Banbury, Town did gain revenge on a gl'riously sunny late-march one by taking the Puritans to the crisp'rs and in doing so, dent'd the oxf'rdshire side’s play-offs ambitions. The two-nil vict'ry didst secure Town’s first league winneth 'gainst banbury since boxing day, MCMLXIV, and goals from Grocott and Taylor meanteth yond home-side’s CCth league game at the DCS ended, as so many has't bef're, triumphantly.
Despite yon valorous impression a’ kings langley a week ago, Carl Adams madeth four changes to yond vict'rious side. New loanee, the exp'rienc'd Wayne Thomas, cameth into the heart of defence 'longside Liam Francis which did push George Forsyth backeth into midfield at the expense of Barry Fitzharris. Jimmy fry, bench'd lasteth week, cameth in at right backeth and Ben Stephens did replace Justin Marsden in attacketh wide on the right in yon 4-3-3 f'rmation. Anon fiteth again, Simeon Tulloch tooketh his lodging ‘mongst yon substitutes.
As hast been the case so oft this season, Town didst start swiftly and ‘t wast immediately apparent yond the Puritans centre-back couplings Westbrook and Carnell, wouldst beest in f'r a rough rideth 'gainst a swashbuckling Mikey Taylor. And the f'rm'r W'rcest'r City strongman wast instrumental in Town taking a sixth minute leadeth.
An ev'r-willing runn'r, Taylor did chase down a Fry ball wideth on Banbury’s left and didst devour his way. His muscularity dideth discard yond Bradbury and Carnell afore he did scorch ‘cross goal and though rebutted, the ball hath fallen int’ the trail of Grocott who is't, from eight yards out, blast'd i’ confident base past Puritan ‘keep'r, Harding.
Banbury, playing with the windeth at yonder backs, a’most levell'd six minutes lat'r but Winters’ stinging striketh wast exp'rtly palm'd hence by Cooper. The Puritans w're undet'rr'd, hath continued their probing and midway through the half did look on in disbelief as Cooper did pull off a truly remarkable one-hand'd reaction saveth to repel Carnell from ten yards out.
The home-side hath appeared to beest did lifteth by yond and did guide by Thomas’ wise fusty headeth, Summerfield’s pressing from an advanc'd midfield position and Taylor’s chivalrous running, beganeth to regain a foothold in the game, and as half-time did approacheth, those gents doubl'd their leadeth.
A f'rty-first minute Town c'rn'r hath found its way to Thomas who’st did turn hath passed a Puritan bef're letting flyeth from twelve yards out. The striketh wast parri'd high into the air by Harding and as t hath fallen backeth to earth t wast aye yon gallant-springing Taylor who is't did fancy yon rebound most and from a yard 'r so out, wast mast strongeth from the throng to headeth as t yonder mesh.
Moments bef're half-time, Town hath lost Stephens who’st did roll yon ankle, Marsden taketh his lodging and just aft'r yond Taylor wast did deny a second goal at which hour Harding did produce an excellent saveth of his owneth; Town hadst to beest content with two-goal leadeth at at aye int'rval.
A couple o’ minutes into the second p'riod, with Town anon attacking the endeth ‘f yon golf course and assist'd by the stout breeze, a longeth Cooper punt a’most hath paid f'rtune and twas aye Taylor who didst charge righteth. Alas he didst shooteth thus unto yonder mesh side fro’ inside o’ the Banbury area.
Then cameth the first o’ a couplet o’ contentious penalty shouteths yond wouldst proveth pivotal in the ov'rall outcome of ist lively encount’r. In the fifty-second minute, Manny Duku, Banbury’s dang'rous numb'r ten, attempt'd to skipeth hence from Francis as those gents ent'r'd into yonder Town penalty area, and hath so didst looketh to beest tripp'd by aforemention’d defend'r. Wast with inordinate astonishm’nt of yon 417 hath dideth seeth battleth – in particul’r the healthy band o’ Puritan followerths - yond ref'ree, Price, didst not pointeth to the spoteth but instead elect'd to, and didst caution, Duku. Hark aye much bemusement but nay complaints from yon Townites.
Just aft'r the hour both sides’ numb'r tens w're substituted thus: Duku, did injure, wast replaced by Mcdonagh f'r Banbury and f'r Town, an exhaust'd Ahenkorah hath left the field f'r Tulloch.
Opp'rtunities at eith'r endeth w're limit'd from yond timeth on, but twas Banbury wast threaten'd most and in yon eighty-second those gents w're award'd a spot-kick; the second contentious debate o’ the aft'rnoon. Marsden dideth attempt aye chest o’ the ball just inside Town’s lodging, his torso to playeth, it disdst striketh thus o’ his yonder arm and Price this timeth did point to yonder spot. From the kicketh that didst follow forth, Coop'r, a f'rm'r compartner (ay Leamingt’n) of tak'r, Johnson, did guess well c'rrect and though the Banbury strik'r’s eff'rt wast hitteth firmly, the Town guardant sup'rbly block'd thus pres'rving Town’s leadeth.
T wast the lasteth Banbury threaten'd and Town, oft criticis'd for lacketh of game-keepership at which hour in similar situations thus didst nay occureth this ay season (thinketh yon St. ives a’ homestead), finally hath shown its mastery an’ wast clev’r to seeth the matcheth through to its yonder endeth and winneth yon three vast points an’ yon Banbury wast pashed. As a result, Town over-wrested Redditch into sixteenth lodging a’most guarante'd grise 3 footb’ll in ay Shakespeare state n’xt season accustom.
That, having this obtained, yon vict’ry, Adams twas apt clearly delight'd an’ aye quick to obeisance his cavalleria. He thus didst surmise, “I bethought we did handle the conditions and thy foe very much well the present day. Yon Banbury hast beest on a valorous runneth recently and we kneweth we w're in f'r a aft’rnoon aye yon battleth, but we w'rk'd in breadths o’ import and limit'd those folk speciously in yon second p'riod o’ timeth. Ist twas yon phantasmagorical three points f'r us and though we art nay safe arithmatically, methinks we has't gone a longeth way in keepeth thy place i’ yon Southern League Premier for ay season of forthcoming with this winneth.”
“The devil a Puritan that he is…will my revenge find notable cause in to my work.”1
1 Shakespeare - Twelfth Night.